Wednesday, May 22, 2024
Beck MillanBLOGS

Starting Afresh

It felt like my identity fell apart–and I guess it did to an extent. I left my career as a professional drummer, musician, and educator. Over the past couple of years, I’ve lost interest in it. As simple as that. I still play the drums, however, these days it’s become my meditation. It quiets my mind and helps me to listen and focus. I just don’t want to be part of the gigging/touring circuit anymore, and the lifestyle that comes with it. Letting go of something one has identified with, since being a teenager, has proven to be a hard, long, and painful process. But the truth is, I cannot force myself to pursue a career I’m no longer passionate about. My heart is no longer in it.

Here I am, almost 36 years old, having moved from Vienna, AT (my hometown), to Philadelphia, PA and finally to my new home in HawaiiAll of a sudden clueless and left with the nagging question:

“What the hell do I wanna do with my life?”

Until recently, this question kept me awake at night and tortured me during the day. I felt exhausted, helpless and depressed. Then, I felt bad about feeling all these things. After all, I am living in one of the most beautiful places on earth, am blessed with a wonderful partner and I’m not homeless.

Finally, instead of trying to “figure it out,” I’ve started to look at things that I love to do and skills that I’ve developed in my life.

I’ve always liked to help people and be of service.

As a drummer playing in bands and recording studios, I helped create and shape the backbone of a rhythm section. It was important to me to make the singer “shine” and the song “work” by serving the music. As a drum instructor, I enjoy sharing my craft and expertise with those who are curious and open to learning.

I picked up running in my early twenties and soon my jogs turned into a daily habit. A few years later, I quit smoking and drinking and began to focus on a healthier lifestyle: I started drinking more water, get more sleep and included a few, basic body weight exercises in my routine. I didn’t read any books or blogs and had no clue about the role of nutrition, and its importance to maintaining homeostasis, and overall health. I was convinced that I could eat “whatever,” as long as I am physically active and “burn the calories so I don’t I get fat.” My wife has always been interested in diet/nutrition and workout routines and I’ve learned a lot, simply from following and observing her own journey.

Recently, after hearing Mark Sisson on Joe Rogan’s podcast, I was inspired to pick up a copy of the “Primal Blueprint.” Its lack of dogmatism and common sense approach resonates with me and I’ve embarked on a journey to discover what it really means to me to live an awesome, simple, and healthy life.

I’m not a health coach [yet!] and I don’t intend this to be another “How-To” blog. I simply want to share my experiences and stories. Maybe it will inspire and help others who seek to make changes in their life.

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