Questionably legal Christmas gifts

We had a strange theme for this year’s Christmas gifts. One gift looked like a bag of cocaine with a pre-rolled up bill for snorting. Another looked like half a pound of marijuana.

Neither was what it seemed.

Our European family who stays with us every year for a month or so gave us money to help buy a new washer since it’s breaking, and it’s something they’ve had to deal with in their stay here.

We told Christian and Yuki not to, but they were very kind and wanted to chip in anyway. So it’s a bag of powdered detergent in a sealed pouch with rolled up money inside.

At first, though, sitting around the Christmas tree and staring at an unwrapped bag of white powder, our reaction was, “What is this?” I suspect the granules are too big to be cocaine, but none of us in the house have any experience (or interest) in hard drugs, so this naieve couple was staring at the bag with puzzlement. 

I thought it was baking powder since Claus and Olivia were on a baking spree and he was just complaining the powder was misplaced. Strange, still, that Christian and Yuki would give it in a Ziplock.

Where’s the rest of the can? Why did they buy a tin so big, it required doling it out in pieces? Did they, for some odd reason, split the cost of a massive Costco-sized can with someone else and this is their share that they’re gifting to us?

Christian said, rather unhelpfully, “There’s more inside!” So we moved the powder around with our fingers, with the bag still sealed, until the hard object came to the surface.

Rolled up dollar bills. This really still makes it look like drugs.

So finally, Yuki explains, “It’s money to buy a washer.”

AHA! A themed gift-wrap! Creative! And the most memorable gift of the season!

This was followed up by Claus’ gift to me of what looked like half a pound of weed in a glass clamp jar. It was herbs, and naturally, everyone knows from watching television that nobody puts marijuana in containers that large, so it was implausible from the get-go.

Still, it came on the heels of the Friis’ cocaine present, so I was still in the mindset of illegal substances.

So in the end, we will have properly seasoned food with clean laundry. And that’s merry enough of a Christmas for me.

Diane Ako

Peace of mind By Diane Ako I like to reflect on life. Sometimes it’s philosophically. Sometimes it’s humorously. For all its beauty, life is far too difficult a journey to take alone. You need the support and connection with others to help carry you along the way. Writing brings me that connection– within and without. It clarifies my thoughts and feelings. It helps me reach out to others for advice, wisdom, or feedback. Your thoughts become your actions. Your actions become you. A wise yogi- Patanjali- said, “Speak what is true. Speak what is pleasant.” Let’s speak of things pleasant to one another and seek some peace of mind along the way. ABOUT Diane Ako joined Hawaii: In Real Life in October 2016. She likes being part of a community of local bloggers – people who like writing and sharing, like she does. Ako is an anchor/ reporter at Island News (KITV4 – ABC) in Honolulu. She previously anchored and reported at KHON2 (FOX) and KHNL (NBC), and at stations in California, New Mexico, and Pennsylvania. She freelance writes for NMG Network's magazines. In between news jobs, in 2017, she launched and ran her own p.r. company, Diane Ako PR. From 2010-2014, she headed the public relations department at Halekulani Corporation, which oversees luxury resort Halekulani and boutique hotel Waikiki Parc. She’s been blogging since 2009 – before Hawaii: IRL, she wrote for The Honolulu Star-Advertiser, the state’s largest daily newspaper, where her stories garnered a dozen journalism awards and an Emmy nomination. Ako has a BA in Communications from Menlo College and an MA in Political Science from University of Hawaii at Manoa. She volunteers as a board member of the Honolulu Gay & Lesbian Cultural Foundation, a Shinto shrine maiden at Daijingyu Temple, a citizen-scientist studying shrimp, and a yoga teacher at a senior center.

Diane Ako has 274 posts and counting. See all posts by Diane Ako

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