Constant crowing impacts peaceful sleep

I have a problem: I’ve come to hate roosters. There, I’ve said it.

If I’ve been with you in person over the last few years, I’m sorry for being so embarrassing, but I’ve probably asked you if you know how to trap and re-home a rooster, and if you would do it for me. 

This started about two years ago when I was working an early morning shift, and I needed to nap in the afternoon. There was one rooster that would crow all day, and he had taken up residence outside my BEDROOM WINDOW. He’s still there.

I hear his hens and chicks in my yard, too. They move in a little radius that includes two other people’s yards. I heard someone is feeding them. Makes sense.

FYI I do not live in an ag zone. In fact, I live in a private association that bans ALL poultry as pets. These birds cannot read, or what?

They’re cute to look at but it makes me batty to hear him crowing when I’m sleeping. His pre-dawn pattern is: He crows at the top of the hour at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m. He makes about six calls, when then must be answered by the four other roosters in the neighborhood.  

I hear them from all points of the compass. Then, at 4:30 a.m., he starts his dayside crowing schedule that consists of longer period of calling/responding (15 minutes long, once or twice per hour). It goes all day. He’s the alpha since he starts the crowing sessions. 

I actually know “my” rooster’s sound. Irritating that I know these subtleties.

I’ve been on the phone and people have laughed when they heard the rooster in the background. My friend George and I had an extended conversation about it which, if you’re not me, is admittedly comical.

There’s “my” rooster and there’s another rooster about 100 yards away. (At the time of this phone call, there were only two roosters, but over the months, it doubled.) They have a crow-off all day. I taught him to identify which was which, via a phone call! It took a few minutes but he got it. The conversation was like this:

{crowing}

George: That’s your rooster. (George’s hysterical laugher)

Me: Right. The other guy is going to go off within a minute.

{crowing}

George: That’s the other rooster.

Me: Yes.

{crowing}

George: That’s your rooster.

Me: Yep. They go on all day like that. Someone has to have the last word. They probably only stop because something distracts them like a female or food. Just like drunk men in a bar.

Well, at least we can laugh about it.

I mimiced the sound of my guy’s crowing and George said I did a good impression. He’s a good judge. He lives in Kalihi Valley. 

So on and so forth. Ridiculous.

There are people who say they got used to the noise. Good for them. I wish I could.

I lived right behind Caltrain tracks in college and I got used to that. I grew up on 1735 Pali Highway as a child and lived there for many years, and got used to the constant drone of freeway noise. I’m not that sensitive, but I can’t tolerate roosters.

Roosters are a big part of a bunch of religions and cultures. This is even the Year of the Rooster in the Chinese calendar.

Great. So they’re special. Go be special 100 yards from my house.